|
- In Memory of Victoria
|
|
|
5 May 2012 
I always wonder, If you'll ever come chasing after me...
It's depressing doing the same old thing every day. I really have no idea how much longer I could endure all these. Do you know, it's really tiring? I'm not that strong as you think I was. Putting up a strong front isn't great. Keeping everything by myself is worst. I know I was wrong at times. I know you had a hard time too. But your hurting was much more than I deserve. How am I suppose to tell you how I really feel, I mean I did told you many times. Sadly, it doesn't help. Maybe it does, probably a day I see changes. Not for long... I'm utterly disappointed. The kid spirit that I always have, will no longer be there anymore. It's been long since I last smile widely. Where did all my happiness ran to? Where did my carefree kid spirit went to? Do I really deserve all these? Ask yourself, have you ever treated me this way before? It's rather disappointing... I'm not complaining nor do I despise you. I'm just telling you how I feel, how I REALLY feel. Guess, It'll be hard for me to get the feeling that we used to have back. Well, I must admit this phrase ' Good things must always come to an end '.
Anyway, I found a full-time job at Sanrio - Changi Airport Terminal 3 outlet along with Michelle Low and Xinyi. Awesome! I'll be starting on Monday. Hopefully, I'll not give up half way again.. 29 April 2012 
Growing up, Won't bring me down.
Another week has gone. Time is really running fast.. Another new week is about to begin in an hour time. Today my dearest brought me to Anchorvale Swimming Complex. Well, he never liked swimming, he brought me there because of me. I was extremely happy that he kept his promise and brought me there. Anyway, there were tons of people there. Swimming one lap is really a problem. Both Indoor and Competition pool were full of people. We went to Compass Point Cold Storage to get our groceries for dinner. As we had our dinner, We watch Star Awards 2012. Just in the nick of time for Top 10 Most Popular Artistes. I'm glad I was not disappointed with the results, My most favorite Male and Female artist got the award - Elvin Ng & Rui En. Dear is now studying behind me, with my stupid phone. I don't know what's he up to. Well, hell. I'm repeating Canon In D by Pachelbel. It's really an amazing song. One of my past time favorited too. Alright, I'm going to disturb my dear boy now. Goodbye ginggysnap! 28 April 2012 
Whether rain or shine, I know you'll always be there for me...
My dear boyfriend has just changed his phone to Iphone 4S. And, there is he now playing with his phone. Went to Granny's house for dinner. Granny took plenty of food for dear, and this is the first time I see him not finishing what's given to him. Haha! Took a bus back to Sengkang, Compass Point and than back to my house. Dear's gonna bring me go swimming tomorrow! Excited. Hehe, just like a small girl. Yes, my dear baby never fail to make me have the kid spirit in me. It's only with him I'm like that, I just don't know why. Perhaps, I love the way he pamper and care for me. He treats me well, Like his one and only one, his wife and his daughter. Hell, This sounds a little corny but well, it came from my heart. From the first day, we met till now... He never once gave up on me. No matter how unreasonable I am, I repeat NO MATTER WHAT. I've never been good during the first month we've been together. Until one day, I don't know why... I started loving him more than usual. I was learning how to love him even more. Maybe it was his actions and things that he've done for me that makes me touched. And now I could proudly say that I'm deeply in love with him, and that he will definitely be my last romance. The guy that I'm willing to spend with for the rest of my life with. All these just came to me. Perhaps, it's destiny. Ok enough of all these mushy words... I can't wait to go swimming tomorrow. And I'm starting to feel famish now. Which, is a bad thing. Alright, I'm gonna watch 'Destiny In Her Hands' right now. So goodbye... On the same day, 27 April 2012 
This is how crazy we can be... and even worst. ^_^
Day off, no work today. I'm waiting for my dear boyfriend to end work now. I really need to start and continue my dieting from today. Really feel like giving up, so much good food out there tempting me. Oh dear! Starving right now.. Poor me! Watched 'Destiny In Her Hands' on mioTV just now at dear's house. It's a show about a lady who was born with broken lines on both her palms. It seems according to Chinese cultural beliefs, if a person is born with broken lines on his/her palms, especially if the person is a female, she would face a life of extreme hardship and bad luck. As I was watching, I realize how fortunate I am. Compared to her, I was so much luckier. I know It's just a show, a TV drama. But I believe there are people out there, somehow had the similar life as she do. She had a bias mother, a gambling addict father, a womaniser husband, mentally-challenge son and a daughter. Also, She had many debts to cover and people out there discriminating her. And so on... It's really a heartbreaking show. I rate it 7/10. Dammit! I'm really famished. What's for dinner??? I'm gonna start looking for food around home now.
27 April 2012 
You worth every part of my life.
If there comes by a day where by I said that we can't be together, trust me... That is the biggest lie I would ever make. Work was kinda harsh today, so many rude people out there. Gosh, where did all the well manner people ran to? Rushed back to my dearest boyfriend's house after work. We had a tiff... Well, I was pondering real hard about the words and questions he asked me. I was thinking what am I going to do in future if I were to drop out from school now and what am I gonna be. Honestly speaking, I seriously have no idea. I don't know how and I don't know what. At times, I just want everything to go by my way. But at the same time, It's really hurting to see people I love struggling for me to give me the best I want. Perhaps, I was too selfish and self-centered. My heartbreaks when I see Mommy & him - my dear boyfriend; crying for me. I know they were caring for me, as always... but I just can't do it. My heart is not with the school. I'm sorry... It's rather disappointing.. I know. Please do understand me alright? I've done explaining, I'm really tired. Anyway, We're both alright now. Still as loving as before? I definitely hope so. As for school, I've already made up my mind. I'm giving up. Yes, I'm defeated by school. Hence, I'll be struggling to work hard from now on with my job. In order to give myself as well as my dear a better life. This I promise you... Goodnight. 26 April 2012 
Ignatius Jeremiah, The love of my life.
It's been long since I last update my blog. I'm now a freeman, no more curfew calls from Gracehaven. No more restrictions, no more hardship. So far, so good. After writing this post I'll be rushing off to Toa Payoh for work with Felyond and her girlfriend. As for my dearest boyfriend, he's now working till late evening. Gosh, I can't wait to end work and rush over to meet him. As for myself, I haven been attending school regularly, guess I can't be bothered about it anymore. I'm not interested in the course neither am I willing to wake up so damn early in the morning and head down to Simei ITE everyday. Oh back to the topic where I was discharged from Gracehaven. I haven had the chance to thank my dear Laykwan and Felyond personally for doing so much things for me when I was in there. Of course, my dear boyfriend too. Without them, I would not have so much fun during these long 2years. I couldn't make it through either. 'you guys are the one that are there for me when I needed you guys most' Yesterday, 25 April 2012. I missed Vernice's birthday. I gave it a missed... And here comes the heartbreaking part, What I heard from Felyond was that Vernice only wanted to celebrate her birthday with the both of us and the both of us didn't turn up. Oh gosh, I'm so terribly sorry.
'My dear Vernice, We'll make up to you another day. Happy birthday!' |
|
|
Sometimes you have to forget how you feel and remember what you deserve.
| |
